Sunday, December 30, 2007

A crappy year, come on in 2008!

2007 has definitely been a rough year for us! The hardest hit was definitely Sam's mom passing away! Regardless of importance the hard knocks have kept on coming all.year.long. Frankly, I am ready to say good bye to 2007! Before I do, here are the first sentences of the first posts of every month for 2007!

January A new year is upon us, quicker they go as older I get!

February William is 9 months old

March Today is such a beautiful day!

and yet here I am posting a blog?

May Dear son, it amazes me that the first year of your life outside of me has passed!

June woke up far to early drove through starbucks on way to park as result of waking up far to early :)!

July Today my dear son William is 14 months old and I can't believe it!

August William falls often, he is crazy and climbs on things he shouldn't I find myself chasing him to catch him moments from severe danger.

September Today was Nathalie's 1st day of Preschool!

October William is 17 months old!


December On Saturday, the kids and I went to Seaport Village with my Mom and Dad.

So there's my year in review!!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Sam's 45th birthday SURPRISE....

Sam will be 45 at the end of January! And I Have the best present for him ever! He doesn't read my blog, that I know of, but I'm sure that as soon as I write that he So I'll say this, He will find out about his surprise in 2 weeks! So at that time I will reveal to you in all its glory the best birthday surprise ever (for my hubby anyhow!)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


William actually went to bed without much of a fight, I couldn't believe it! My first effort began at about 9:15, and I figured that for ease of sleep I would just put him in my bed (rather than his own), especially because Nathalie was already asleep in my room. After about 45 minutes of him tossing and turning and trying to wake Nathalie up (thankfully he did not succeed in this mission). I said "William if you don't leave Nathalie alone, we are going to have to go night night in your bed" and he said "yeah". I asked "William, do you want to go sleep in your bed?" and he again said "yeah". So I carried him into he and Nathalie's room, tucked him in tight, gave him kisses and hugs and his little firefly to sleep with. 5 minutes later he was out, I couldn't believe it. My lil guy didn't want to sleep with Mommy and Nathalie, which made me somewhat sad, but he is asleep and that really is what counts to me right now!

Christmas rocked!!!!

Not only for the kids, but for me too! My family all pitched in and bought me a laptop for Christmas! I am soo excited about this, it is something I really will use for school! Unfortunately I left my camera at my moms, so I cant post any Christmas day pictures yet, but I promise there are lots that will be posted soon!
Nathalie's favorite gift was the one that santa brought her a baby doll, with highchair, stroller and bed. Williams favorite gift was a geotrax set that he got from his Nana and Papa as well as his auntie. He got sooo many trucks and cars, but loves them all! Nathalies next favortie gift was from her "uncle" Dan, and was a set of barbie movies, definitely not my choice, but thats okay, it was christmas after all. The kids were amazing yesterday, and William actually took two naps!
Sam has to work overnight for the next three nights :( but this means that this morning he allowed me to go back to sleep after breakfast and showering, around 9:30 until noonish, it was fantastic! William has now been asleep for nearly 3 hours, which is also fantastic, but I know it will end soon!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas Eve

Its Christmas Eve, and Nathalie could not be more excited. I've always waited for "the year." I'm sure those of you with little kids know what I'm talking about. This is definitely "the year" for Nathalie. The year that she's realized who Santa Claus is, and what presents are and how fun it is to give presents to other people. On Saturday we went to a Christmas party at a friend of my mom's, and Nathalie had made her a Christmas ornament. The pure excitement and delight that Nathalie beamed when giving that gift to "aunt" Judy was amazing. Today and tomorrow Sam and I both don't have work which to me is the best gift that we could ever be given, two days as a family of four with no outside influences tearing us away from those closest to us! This morning the four of us woke up and Sam and I allowed the kids each to open one present for Christmas Eve. Nathalie opened a Dora backpack full of games, Checkers, Bingo, Crazy Eights, Dominoes, Tic Tac Toe, Go Fish, Memory and Old Maid, which we've been playing with all day, I'm so glad she is getting so much enjoyment out of it. William opened up a blanket, its plush and has a firetruck, police car, and race car on it, he's been cuddling with it all day too, its so cute. After breakfast we took a walk to the park for a little while and then walked home. William went straight down for a nap, and because I don't think I've mentioned this I should say, in his big boy bed. He and Nathalie have been sleeping in Nathalie's room for a couple of weeks now, and it as been a surprisingly smooth transition. One night William woke up in the middle of the night and was welcomed with open arms into our bed, but thats been the extent of it really. My baby boy is getting so big. Daddy decided he was going to nap too, and I loved the way a nap sounded so Nathalie, Daddy and I all went and had "quite time" in Mommy and Daddy's bed, Nathalie never quite fell asleep so after about an hour of her being good and quite, I told her that she and I could get up which made her very happy. Tonight we will go to my sister's house for a Christmas Eve dinner of homemade Chili and then we'll spend the night at my parents house and spend Christmas there tomorrow. I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

200th post woo hoo

As I was getting ready to post, I realized this is my 200th blog post. What a milestone. Another milestone, the one I actually came on here to write about....only one more final tomorrow and then no school until the last week of January! It's definitely been a trying semester, its hard to balance it all. I often found myself feeling guilty having to leave my kids to go to class, or to study, but I know in the end this will be worth it for them!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Christmas tree debate

I'm feeling like a rotten mother and its all thanks to friends like Luci,Sara, Elaine,and Natalie. Ok so you get the point. I, I mean we had decided not to put up a tree this year. William is at quite an inquisitive stage and with the stress of finals next week etc.etc.... And I'm not really that rotten of a mom, as we spent the whole day after Thanksgiving setting up Nana and Papa's tree, which Nathalie got to enjoy every minute of. We will be spending Christmas eve at my sisters house (she has a tree) and then sleeping over night at my parents house, again waking up to a tree. So please reassure me that I'm not scarring my daughter for life by not putting up a tree this year!


yes its really a word it means 64th note; oh and if you already knew that then I must say you are much more intellegent than me.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Sickies....

have hit our house, and pretty hard at that. William started it with a runny nose Saturday, which was followed by diahrrea Saturday night, and my favorite, he even threw up on Friday night. His nose is still runny, but he seems to be on the mend now. I ended up with it yesterday, nasal congestion, fever cough and wanting to do nothing but lay around all day, which consequently is what I did.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

What have I done this year?

Way back in January, I posted this uber list of goals for the year, so which ones have I actually accomplished or made a dent in? Let's recap!

1.) No I still don't workout, and I at least walk with the kids once every 2 weeks but have made a valiant effort to go to the park at least 2 times a week!
2.) I have been eating a lot less junk, have been using a lot more Organic, and have definitely decreassed my horrible addiction to diet coke, I'm almost completely weaned, lol.
3.)Cooking more healthily indeed, see above. I know there is still plenty of room for improvement, as of now, we have cut out all red meat and are slowly working on birds too. I'm hoping by January to be mostly on veggies, with fish here and there as that is something that dh and I really enjoy.
4.)Health of dh re: his shoulder surgery, we (he) made it through with flying colors.
5.)I still haven't had the physical.
6.)I went to the dentist in July and am due again, okay I'll call them tomorrow.
7.&8. Not quite up to 4 nights a week of cooking, its hard with my schedule; and regarding the new recipes, its probably more like 1 a month.
9.)Sam has given up alcohol all together, which is much larger than I ever began imaginable, and it has definitely made our family stronger.
10.)Nathalie aka Ms. Independence, I really don't think she needs extra support in this department.
11.) With the passing of Sam's mom we've definitely come to cherish every moment more and more.
12.)We do get out of the house more than 3 days a week, Nathalie being in school goes 3 days a week. William and I try to go to playgroups on Mondays and or Tuesdays, and we all three go on Thursdays. Also we spend Saturdays and Sundays at Nanas and Papas.
13.) LIMIT TV we were doing really well with this and then had a bit of a relapse, but are getting back on track.
14.)LISTEN to my children's needs, I'm really trying on this one
15.)Take a trip together just the 4 of us. no one else. Not yet, but we're hoping for January, so almost made it
15.)Yell less, praise more (apply to both dh and dc's)--With dh its gotten a lot easier, since he stopped drinking, don't get me wrong he wasnt a druken bastard or anything like that, but he'd have a couple beers, sometimes more, a night, and wouldn't do anything.
16. Read at least 1 book a month, Well if Organic Chemistry text books and Calculus text books count then I definitely have accomlished this one too lol.
17.)Make me time...Well, it may not be once every month, but I have been getting more "me" time than last year most definitely
18.)SPEND LESS.....SAVE MORE need to work on this more
19.) I feel like my patience is increasing
20.)the boxes are decluttered
21.)Do dishes daily, do not let them go for an extra day or two--um still working on this one
22.)definitely doing better on the laundry front.
23.)done in the kids department, still need to work on our clothes
24.)we went out just the two of us on Sam's birthday, January 30th hey at least it was once this year.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

19 months!

Today, William is 19 months old. He's now closer to 2 than 1, and that makes me a little sad. After dropping Nathalie of at preschool this am he and I headed to the park, we had a wonderful day playing. He just fell asleep eating in his high chair, I've never had a kid do that before lol its funny. I took a pic, but since I just uploaded pics, Ill get that one up later.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Chirstmas is coming....

On Saturday, the kids and I went to Seaport Village with my Mom and Dad. While the kids were happily occupied by Nana and Papa, I snuck in some Christmas shopping at apple box toys. I bought William this pound a peg, (hopefully he wont pound Nathalie in the head), I also got him a couple of little wooden cars as stocking suffers. I got Nathalie, a wooden Jewelery box that plays music, she wouldn't leave it alone in the store w/ Nana, so I was tipped off that it would be something good to get her, I also got herthis wooden lace up shoe, as she's become obsessed with tieing shoes lately, so I thought this might help her learn! Nathalie and William both rode the carosel, and I took pictures but haven't uploaded them yet. We had lunch at Buster's Nathalie and William shared some noodles, plain, because Nathalie didn't want any marinara sauce, I had a really good grilled chicken sandwich, although Nathalie ate half. Nana bought Nathalie a special treat of hot chocolate before we left for the day. And William was asleep before we left the parking lot. I got Nathalie an advent calender at Trader Joe's last week, so we'll be counting down the days till Christmas, maybe her and daddy can put up the tree tonight while mommy is at school.

Friday, November 30, 2007

I can't believe I did this, and I heart rainy days

Yesterday was a really really really rough day on me. I don't specifically know why or how to explain it beyond the fact that I really think it was just the accumulation of everything recent. The topper was in regards to my calculus class. On Tuesday, I was unable to attend due to picking Sam up at the airport, considering the given facts that we have only 4 weeks left in the semester, I have had zero absences in any of my courses this semester, I have a very nice, open professor, and that I have a 93% in the class, I simply emailed her explaining my situation and requesting information regarding what I would miss that day. What I got in return was a heartfelt apology for all that my family is going through right now as well as sad, sad news, that as of Tuesday she was no longer our teacher, and that she was instructed not to talk to her students about this. To make a long story short, we have a new instructor, and excess hours to make up, which means the course I thought would be over on December 19th, will now continue through January. That is quite a bit of explanation; however, it was the straw that broke the camels back (that camel being me). And I called in sick to work last night. I simply told the truth, that I just couldn't handle it right now. That I was stressed beyond belief all of this while in tears. I can't believe I did it, but I really had had enough and just needed to stay home.
Fast forward today, I love that its raining out. I love that I took Nathalie to school this morning and proceeded to take a 2 hour nap with William. It's probably a good thing that I don't live where it rains a lot, somewhere like Seattle say, because I find the rain such a valid excuse to stay in sweats all day lounge around the house, and cuddle with my bubba boy all day long. However, I do have to go to work tonight, so at some point will have to change out of my comfy sweats and slippers, but still I heart that it rained today.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

10 things I love about my kids

1.) No matter what, they can make me smile. It is an unbelievable gift that they contain and I can not explain in words how it makes me feel.

2.)That they truly love one another. That they interact with one another and that Nathalie "talks" to William and he actually responds.

3.)Always having somebody to Hug, Kiss, Hold, Embrace, Cuddle with.

4.)They make me want to do better in life, to acheive greatness for their sake.

5.)They trust that everything I say is so.

6.)I love how Nathalie, is just starting to realize what Christmas is and the joy she portrays when she talks about it encapsulates a childs excitement to the extreme.

7.)I love to see their face light up and them run to either Sam or I when we come home after a long day/or night at work.

8.)Their wildness in exploration, their desire to discover the unknow.

9.)The constant thirst for knowledge, Why? What is that? Where are we going? How do we get there? At times it can be consuming, but I love that Nathalie, and even William want to learn so much about everything.

10.)To know that I created these two beautiful beings, and that I am responsible for them for the rest of our lives. It scares me but I love it nonetheless.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Happy Birthday to Nichole

Today my little sister is 27, I say it like she's so much younger than me, when in reality we are only 14 months apart. Party like its 1999.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Update on the car accident, and Sam is coming home tonight

Here is the link to the article of the horrible accident Sam's family was in last night. To clarify a few things, His cousin Bev is Geep's (george) wife. And Lillian is his Aunt Punkin. His cousin Bronwyn is arriving to Oregon this afternoon to be with her mother.

Monday, November 26, 2007

It gets worse

Seriously. I've had enough. I believe my husband has been through enough, losing both his Aunt and Mom to cancer only 7 weeks apart and then BAMM it gets worse. As has been previously mentioned he was scheduled to come home tomorrow. Notice the past tense in the previous sentence. He called me around 10 o'clock tonight and said "honey I'm not coming home tomorrow, I already called Abdul(his district manager)" I replied with, "Sam thats not funny" and unfortunately I wish he'd been joking. He continued to tell me that there was a seriously bad car accident. His Aunt Punkin (nickname) and cousin Bev were (are) locally hospitalized in McMinville. As of right now I know that his cousin Bev has 2 broken legs and his other two cousins were life flighted to Portland, one is dead. I cannot believe this. I will keep you all posted as we find out more details.

Sam's 4th day gone, the funeral.

Today has been a really good day. Both of my kids slept in until 8 am, which was a huge plus considering that I stayed up until 2 am doing homework. They had a super simple breakfast this morning (read mom was lazy) of yogurt and fruit. We all got dressed and William and I dropped Nathalie off at school at 9. After dropping Nathalie at school William and I stopped at Target to get a few things. One of which was this really cool Metal dump truck. Although it wasn't on our list I couldn't pass it up for 10 dollars. I'm going to save it for him for christmas. After Target Wiliam and I went to playgroup arriving early around 9:30 and we left at noon. He fell asleep on the way home, and is still sleeping (its 3). I'm going to have to go pick up Nathalie in just a few minutes, which will mean William will wake up but thats okay he has been sleeping for nearly 3 hours.
Sam called not to long ago and said the services for his mom were really nice. He couldn't talk long as they were at the burial, but it was nice to hear him, and he honestly sounded happy. I really think today will help him to gain a lot of closer on the situation. He comes home tomorrow and I can't wait.
I have school until 10 tonight and then am hoping to get some more cleaning around the house done so that Sam doesn't come home to a disaster zone tomorrow.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Sam's 3rd day gone, a rough one for him

Today I worked all day and just got home (after being gone from our house since Thursday). Thankfully my parents fed my kids dinner, and although I have a ton of homework (including a midterm) due tomorrow, right now I am just sitting here typing this letting the kids watch a little TV (christmas movie). Somehow I don't think tonight will be as easy to get them to bed, but I'm hoping for at least 9 o'clock, we'll see.

Well now its 10 pm and both kids are in bed. Nathalie was asleep by 8:45 and William just wasn't quite ready so I played with him for an extra hour, hoping to bide myself a more restful night. Anyways, I just realized that I never elaborated on today being rough for Sam. Tomorrow is the funeral. Today was the viewing, and no Sam did not go look at his dead mother in her casket. I honestly do not blame him. I called him on my lunch break from work and he was so sad. He was sitting outside of the funeral home while his Dad, Sister, Brother, Nephews (who are adults btw) were inside looking at his dead mother. He said he just couldn't stand the morbidity of the situation. He said that at night his Dad just cries and Sam wishes he could comfort him after loosing his love of 50 years. Furthermore, the week or so before Edith passed away Richard(Sam's dad) was sick with the 'flu', the night before she passed away was the first night he got to go stay with her in over a week. At the beginning of this week he was coughing up blood. Turns out they are going to do a biopsy on a mass in his lungs next week. Sam said that Richard said that if its cancer he just wants to die so that he can go be with his wife. I know that today was a rough day for my husband, and I can only imagine how hard tomorrow will be.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Sam's 2nd day gone

Today was again not to rough with the kids, they played hard all day today (which probably helped) we spent it again at my mom and dad's and will once again spend the night as I have to work tomorrow and didn't want to wake them super early to trek up to my parents. Tonight William was in bed before 8 and Nathalie was asleep at 8:30.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Sam's 1st day gone

I took him to the airport early this morning, leaving the kids asleep at my mom and dad's. Although we stayed at my parents all day, it was rough, as if the kids could sense that daddy was gone, and more than just gone to work. William did go pee pee on the potty for the first time tonight. I was getting ready to put him in the bath tub and he pointed at the potty and said uh uh I put him up on the potty and he went woo hoo. I finally got the kids to sleep around 9 after an hour long battle, often times I just give up, but tonight I fought the battle knowing that they were as exhausted as I was and I eventually won the battle!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving, and remember to be thankful for everything that you have.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I know that I have so much to be thankful for

but right now I sit here in a silent house (Sam and the kids are sleeping) and I'm crying. I've tried so hard to be there for my husband who I love with all of my heart and soul as he suffers through this horrible loss of his mother; however, I lost her too. I loved his mother with so much of my being. She understood me, and understood how much I love her son. I would call her just to say Hi and tell her that I love her and right now I just don't feel like I did it often enough. Whenever I couldn't remember how long something should be cooked or at what temperature it was her I would call. Whenever one of her grandkids, that I birthed (her youngest 2 grandkids)would hit a milestone, I would call to share it with her. I loved her like she was my own mom. I loved her and now I have to learn to live without her. I know it will be harder for Sam to learn to live without the mother he grew up having for 44 years, but I can't imagine living without her forever, even though I've ony had her for 6.

Nathalie's 1st night without mommy and daddy (well almost)

Last Friday (the night Sam's mom died) my sister offered to take Nathalie for the night, as in over nigt so that Nathalie didn't have to be around to see Sam in his ultimate sadness. Knowing that my sis lives only a mile away I figured it was worth a shot. Around 1030 Dantie (thats what nathalie calls my sis) called me and said she was fighting sleep, so I asked if she wanted me to come get her and my sister said no that she was fine. I fell asleep around 11, and woke at 1230 to my sister calling me again, that Nathalie would still not sleep, so I picked her up, brought her home and the instant she hit the pillow in bed next to Daddy and brother she fell straight asleep.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Just a couple of rambling thoughts on my mind today.......
First is the fact that my Ochem class is by far one of the most labor intensive classes I have ever taken. I have taken numerous college level courses ( I do have my BA after all). This week we don't have school, due to the thanksgiving holiday; however, we have a take home midterm, and two online quizzes to do. So far 1 quiz is complete (yeah me) and yesterday a group of 4 of us worked on the midterm from 530ish until after midnight and it is still not finished! The good news is that the semester ends December 19th and then I don't start next semester until the end of January, earning me a whole month off! Woohoo.
Next is tomorrow. We are going to get our family photos taken for the holidays. This is actually our first family portrait as a family of 4. That is unless you count the one of us the night before William was born. Unfortunately one of my kids (or maybe me) have misplaced my camera, so my best option will be linking to their website. I was kind of worried that with all that has happened with Sam this week that he wouldn't neccisarrily be up to getting our pictures done tomorrow, but he wants to do it which makes me soo happy!

Monday, November 19, 2007

adventures in potty learning starring William

If anyone would have told me 6 months ago when Nathalie was fully trained that William would show an eagerness at 18 months I would have laughed in their face. However, as I mentioned once last week we had a poop on the potty (very exciting). Furthermore, in the past couple of days he tuggs on his diaper immeadiately after peeing, ok so I think I really need to start working with this kid here. Now if only he could figure out to tell me before he goes!

Sunday, November 18, 2007


I woke him and the icecream...such a hit, I'm glad I woke him. I hope he realizes how much I love him and the fact that I would do anything to take some of this sadness away from him.

The services

for Sam's mom will be next Monday (26th), he will be leaving this Friday (23rd) and returning next Tuesday (27th). I wish I could take so much of his sorrow away. Right now I'm debating if I should wake him up, he requested ice cream and I went to the store to get said ice cream and when I got home about 10 minutes ago he was in the bedroom (I assumed putting the kids to sleep) but has yet to reemerge. I may just let him sleep, but HE LOVES bluberry and I found him some bluberry cheescake icecream that I know he'll love, and I bought him some york peppermint patties which are his favorite candy thats it I'm going to wake him!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

William's getting new shoes

admist all the sad news in my life right now, I just won a brand new pair of pedipeds on ebay for William. They look like this and I saved about 10 dollars off of the regular retail price, I can't wait until we get them!

a tribute to Edith

Loosing Sam's mom yesterday was the hardest death I have been faced with to date in my life. Although she wasn't my mother, she loved me like I was her own, and I loved her equally as much. She was such an amazing woman, who looked to find the good in every situation, and never let anything, including cancer get her down. She was an amazing mother, to Sam, his older sister and older brother. Sam was her baby, he told be before she passed, that he will miss holding his mom's hand, and giving her kissses. That is an amazing bond that I hope my son and I will have into his adulthood.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Sam's Mom

Two days ago Sam's sister called and told us that they didn't think that Sam's mom would live until the end of the year. We immeadiately made arrangements to get him there ASAP, and he was scheduled to leave tomorrow to go and visit for a couple of days and say his goodbye's. This evening at 5:30 PM his sister called me to let me know that she had passed away. He is so sad, and my heart aches for him. I really can't write anymore right now but I just wanted to let you know.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Nathalie's having a baby....

actually she's having 10 babies, she informed me tonight that she currently has a very big belly because she has 5 baby boys and 5 baby girls in her belly. She also proceeded to tell me that it will hurt a lot when they come out!


on my calculus midterm woo hoo! Just thought I'd share that with you all!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I've been tagged....7 wierd things

so yes, this is my very first time being tagged ever. Thanks to Sara at vegan momma

7 weird things...
1- Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2- Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.
3- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4- Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random or weird things
1. I love nothing more than a clean house; however that situation in my house is few and far between!
2. I was a vegatarian for quite a while (about 4 years) and when I became pregnant w/ Nathalie craved meat like you wouldn't believe
3. Most of my life I've felt like I don't really "fit in" and I still feel that way often, but the difference is that now I'm okay with that.
4.I am really good at remembering numbers, specifically telephone numbers and birthdays.
5. For as long as I can remember I wanted two kids (and now I have them, both) its just as amazing as I thought it would be.
6. I wish that I could be two places at once
7. I have 2 tattoos.

So honestly I don't know 7 people to tag, but if your reading this and you havent' been tagged consider yourself tagged. If you do it, or have done it leave me a comment letting me know so I can read your 7 things!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The things mom's get excited about!

William just went poop on the potty! and seriously I am utterly giddy, it could have been a fluke but I am still utterly giddy! Like jumping up and down running through the house, lets throw a fricken party giddy! Thats all.

Monday, November 12, 2007


By definition Joy is "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires". At this point in my life I have a lot of misfortune, lack of well-being, and lack of success. It doesn't get me down, because the joy in my life is complete by looking in the eyes of my children. At 1.5 and 3.5 they capture joy in its entirety. They are here to remind me that no matter what is negative in this world or my life, they are here to bring me joy on a daily basis!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

my favorite new thing

that William does is nod his head and say "yeah" its adorable!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

re:the new phone

my new green phone. trying again as the last link was not a stable one. If this doesnt then you'll just have to trust me when I say that it is cute!

please forgive me

I missed making today (err um) yesterdays post by 40 minutes but you should know that its due to the fact that I actually got to go out tonight! One of my sisters friends turned 30 so I joined them to celebrate I hope I'm excused. I also got a new phone today and yes I choose it because it was green!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Note to self

in next life sleep more before I have children. In this life enjoy every waking moment with them even if it means waking at 4 am...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


Wednesdays are my long day. I work from 8 until 4 and then go to school until 10. I both love and hate Wednesdays. By the end of the day I'm so happy that its over as I only have school M-W so in a way its a "Friday" for me. But I also work W-Su (except Sa) so its also like a Monday for me. At least the week is halfway over after today!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

My last midterm....of this semester

is tonight, in my Calculus class.....We didn't get our Organic Chemistry actual grades, yet, but Dr. Gergen's enlightened us that the class average was a 65 and the high was an 85, maybe there will be a 20 point curve? that would rock!

Monday, November 05, 2007

because now's my free moment

Nathalie is at school, and William and I just returned from a morning of errands: Henry's, the park, quick stop at Target and home. He's asleep (woo hoo) and although I have plenty of things to be doing (homework, cleaning etc). I don't know about you all but me on the days I go get groceries I have the hardest time deciding what I should eat, because it all sounds so good and I just want to eat as much as possible. For lunch, I just made myself a tuna pita (its sooo good, the best part are the orange flavored dried cranberries I got at henry's this am) and thought hmmm I better go post real quick while I have the time! Tonight I'm going to attempt to make a curry for dinner, hopefully the kids will like it, I know dh will eat whatever I make, but its the kids I wonder about, although knowing there is chicken in it should be enough to make Nathalie happy, Mabye Ill make them a not as spicy batch! Ok well I guess I should try and get a little else done while William is nappng!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

18 months old

Today William is 18 months old! This recent shot of him in his halloween "little devil" hoodie could not be more appropriate! He is one crazy boy that keeps me going 100 % of the time. My baby boy is getting so big, and its amazing to imagine that he's been alive long enough for two more babies to be born (to me) could you imagine, having a newborn, a 9 month old and an 18 month old! HOLY COW, see and I thought I had it rough!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

ssshhhh Willam's asleep

Tonight, not an easy night for sleep, I mean as far as getting William down.
I finally put him in the car and drove in under 2 minutes he was asleep. Thankfully he remained asleep upon exciting said car and entering bed. The good news is that we gain an extra hour tonight, of course thats assuming that said rough to sleep boy realizes the time changed. Ha.

3 yr old birthday party

Today we went to a birthday party for my good friend Michele's twin boys Tyler and Cole who are 3. It was barnyard themed and lots of fun, I am utterly exhausted but didn't want to let down my obligation to post everyday in the month of November!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Edith's Birthday

Today is Sam's moms birthday. She is 68 today. I called her about an hour ago and the joy in her voice made me tear up as I got off the phone. When Sam went up to visit her she had a heart attack which landed her back in the hospital. She was moved last week to a Rehab place, to help her try to walk again and things aren't looking good. The Rehab people and the cancer Dr both told Debbie (sam's sister) that they don't think Edith will ever walk again. She will not get any more chemo or radiation either, which I truly think is a good thing. I wish we were up there (in Oregon) to be with her, but with all thats going on in our life right now it would be so hard to just up and leave. I wanted to write this post just to say Happy birthday to Edith!

Thursday, November 01, 2007


November is National Blog posting month (in honor of National novel writing month) and although I'd love too I know that I can't write a novel in a month. So I am going to participate in NaBloPoMo, in which I will post every day for a whole month. Let's hope I have a lot to say, oh wait, I always have a lot to say!

Today was a rough day in mommy land, this morning Nat and Will were driving me up the wall so badly that I couldn't get out of the house fast enough to get to the park! We got there around 930. It went well (minus the minor heart attack William gave me when he tried to jump off of the top of a very tall play structure) until about 12 ish when things started to go down hill fast. Nathalie was playing on some bleachers w/ a friend and fell and got a big owie on her leg; while tending to her William fell on same bleachers and bit his lip. Needless to say this was our cue to go home; on the plus side William took a 3 hour nap when we got home!

so wish me luck on this ambitous venture of participating in NaBloPoMO

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


its been pretty hectic lately. I'm in the middle of midterms, with two done this week and one to go next. I'm extremely sad that I didn't get to spend Halloween with my kids, but find joy in knowing that I DO get to attend Nathalie's Halloween carnival on Friday! Sam's car died on Monday and my dad says its terminal; this is pretty sad news as we truly cannot afford a second car right now and I keep having horrible visions of no more playgroups. Currently we have my dad's 2nd truck (he has a work one and a home one) and he thought he had a really good deal for us on an old used car that his bosses daughter currently has sitting in her drive way (while she drives around in a 2006 Mercedes...pretty sure she doesn't need the old wagon in her driveway right?) which is all I really need, other than when I drive to Alpine to work, but at those times I'd use my current car; but turns out the really good deal on the old used car may not happen as girl is not really ready to depart w/ it. I'm tired and stressed and want to win the lottery...If anyone wins, will they throw me just enough to get an older used car, and maybe a house?! Thanks in advance!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

to wean or not to wean that is the question

I have nursed William for 17 and a half months, I have loved most of it, truly I have. The moments that he and I share nursing are almost always joyful. Recently (in the past month or so) our nursing relationship has not been on such friendly terms. He bites.hits.plays.etc.... Yesterday I nursed William very early in the morning (around 4 am) and decided, I would see how long we could go without nursing. It's currently been 42 hours. Yesterday I attended a natural family playgroup and discussed my situation and feelings with the moms there. One mom really put it into perspective for me, (she just recently weaned her 18 month old) by stating that she was resenting her lo, which isn't healthy for anyone in that relationship. When stepping out of my relationship with William I realized that thats exactly where I am right now. All that being said, I really think that William and I are going to work together to a non-nursing status in our relationship. It makes me sad, because he is my baby, but honestly (even if it does sound selfish). I need this in order to stay sane.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Quarter Life Crisis....

so I stumbled across the following:

The Quarter-Life Crisis "Being Twenty-Something". "They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. Random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading it, relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out !!?" -Author uknown

and seriously I had to post it!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sam comes home tomorrow

and I can't wait. I miss him more than I thought I would, and not just because I want a second parent around (although thats a plus)I really miss him. His mom is back in the hospital as she had a heart attack,she should be released today or tomorrow. I know that for the remainder of her life we will be on a constant roller coaster ride.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

17 months old

William is 17 months old! (October 4th was the official date) and today I took him for his WBC, he is 23 pounds and 33 & 1/2 inches. My baby boy is getting so big I cannot believe it. Here is a picture of him and Nathalie on her school picture day last wednesday! I was trying to get a shot of her and he ran up right next to her so I couldn't resist the cuteness!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

The latest on Sam's mom (Edith)

This picture of Nathalie showing her grandma a crawdad from our trip to Oregon in August makes me happy. I'm so happy that I was able to take my kids to visit there grandma, despite the fact that dh couldn't make the trip. I'm so glad that Edith was able to enjoy her grandkinds and I for a few days.

I've been meaning to post an update for days and have not been able to find the time, besides the fact that the news we got wasn't good and so I've kind of been delaying talking about it. Turns out they cannot do surgery. The cancer that she has is fast moving and the doctors say she has about 6 to 12 months to live. They started chemotherapy and radiation, which I honestly don't think I would do if I was in her situation.but im not so who am i to say right?! Sam is devastated, it hurts me so bad to see my husband hurting so bad. He's leaving to go up there on Friday and he'll be staying for a week.

The other day I talked to my fil (Richard) for a few minutes on the phone and it made me so sad, this man has been married to this woman for 48 years and he's going to loose her, it devastates me. When I got off the phone Nathalie asked me why I was sad. I told her I was sad because Grandma is sick and in the hospital, and Nathalie said "It's okay mommy Grandma is going to get all better and then her will come and visit us and then you'll be happy." and that made me smile. I love my Nathalie.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Wine tasting

Here is a picture of my friend Shannon, myself and Kelly in the Limo on Wine tasting day! It was such a blast; really, I still can't believe that I'm 28!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

My little betty crocker

as I mentioned in yesterdays post Nathalie insisted that since it was my birthday yesterday she needed to make me cupcakes, and she did. now for the pictures that I promised.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sam's Mom Oh yeah and its my birthday

At the end of last week Sam's sister Debbie took his mom to the Dr's and they discovered a spot on her Lungs. THey put her on Zithromax thinking that it may be an infection. Saturday Debbie rushed her to the ER because she was slurring her speech really badly and they were thinking that maybe she had a stroke. Luckily no stroke was involved...However, they sent her for a follow up w/ her primary care on Tuesday. At the follow up Edith's doctor found another spot on her lungs and immeadiately had her admitted to the hospital. After perfoming an MRI, they realized that one of the two tumors in her lungs had a lesion and had broken off and lodged itself in her tempral lobe (BRAIN) which has been causing her severe headaches, as well as the slurring of her words. Today they went in through her nose and took tissue out of the lung tumors in order to run tests to see what kind of cancer this is and how far developed it is. The dr believes that the tumor in her brain may be removable by surgery but we won't find out for sure until tomorrow. so please think good thoughts and for those of you that pray PRAY hard.

Today is my 28th birthday, only 2 more years until 30. My daughter who is 3 insisted that I needed cupcakes for my birthday and that she needed to make them for me. And so she did. I measured everything out, she poured it into the bowl, mixed it herself with the mixer and scooped into the cupcake holders. I cooked them. and I took some pictures that I'll try to post tomorrow. Saturday I'm going wine tasting via limo with my mom, sister, and 5 friends and can't wait as I've never done that before.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

My shoulder

This morning after dropping Nathalie off at school, William and I came back home and he was tired so I laid down w/ him to nap for a bit. When we woke up my shoulder hurt so bad, I figured I had just slept in a wrong position. I had an appt at 11 w/ my sister to get my hair done, so William and I went to her salon and then came back home until it was time to pick up Nathalie. After picking up Nathalie I was surprised that my shoulder still seemed to be in quite a bit of pain. I went to school and took my Calculus test and we got out a little early (around 830) at this time I thought maybe I should try to get into Kaiser Urgent care as the shoulder wasn't improving. Turns out it was partially dislocated! I could hardly believe it myself. Anyways, it's not too bad, just a little painful, but it'll heal.

Friday, September 14, 2007


so monday, I was just busy, but now I'm tired. This week consisted of Playgroup Monday (just for William as Nathalie was at school) home for Will's nap, mom (thats me) cramming in as much homework during nap time as possible, a trip to trader joe's pick Nathalie up from school, home to make dinner (we had chicken fajitas that were delicious) and then off to school for me. My crazy husband went back to work after I got home from school at 1030, worked all night, came home Tuesday morning, showered, ate and headed back to work as he has inventory coming up so he's cramming in as much work as possible. Tuesday morning I took Nathalie to school, then William and I met my Grandma at La Mesa pool so she could work with him some (she's a swim instructor) and he loves the water, but not so much without me in it apparently so for his next attempt Grandma got clearance for me to get in with them. After his swim he took a monster 3 hour nap (LOVED IT) while I did homework and cleaned a little bit. Tuesday night was Calculus for me (oh boy). Wed I worked all day then schooled all night came home in time for hubby to pull another overnighter. Thursday I did laundry and cleaned; then worked from 6 to 10. Today (friday) William and I took Nathalie to school, then came home and I TOOK A NAP with him from about 930 to 1030 it was amazing, I honestly couldn't tell you if I tried the last time I took a nap. Then we met daddy at his dr's appt at 11:30 (follow up from his shoulder surgery). We then met up with Nana and Auntie for lunch, and made a quick trip to Target. Hubby called while we were lunching and was broken down on the side of the 67; lucky for me (and dh) my dad happened to be in Poway (and my dad rocks with cars). Shortly after William and I returned from Target, Sam came home to William and I nursing in front of the air conditioner (it was so hot), I picked Nathalie up from school alone (left Will with daddy) and the first thing she asked was "where's William?" I then went to work, and just got back. and to think this is only the 3rd week of the semester. love it really i do.

Monday, September 10, 2007

I'm a little busy...

I completely missed posting for William's 16 months back on the 4th! He is getting so big and I am truly enjoying the little bit of alone time I've been getting with him while Nathalie is in school! He goes through nursing phases, but most days he's nursing 2 to 3 times a day (the morning, nap and bedtime). However, when I'm at school he skips bedtime and wakes up around 2 to nurse. I miss Nathalie while she is in school. Today I thought about calling twice, but didn't, and did pick her up 20 minutes early! Ms. Bennett (her teacher) said that Nathalie was very good today, and she made a really cool green alligator! Starting at the end of Septemeber, we have the option of enrolling her in a dance class on Tuesdays from 3 to 340 at her school, and I think we are going to!

School for me is beginning its 3rd week today, and although its work, I truly enjoy being a student. Yes, I'm one of those. I love the sense of self it gives me. I truly enjoy learning new things, specifically things that I know are going to encourage my and my families future! I don't like the extra time it takes me away from them, but its all for the better in the end!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Today was Nathalie's 1st day of Preschool! She loved it. She didn't cry when I left, and was excited when I came to pick her up, yet cried that she didn't get to stay at school! I didn't cry, I missed her, but I didn't cry! I can't believe my girl started school!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

We are back

We are back from our vacation and it was lots of fun. The airplane wasn't too much fun, but it all worked out and we are home! Hubby has my car today, with all my luggage in it, including my camera. So once I get that back I'll give more detailed posts of the fun we had!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Vacation Day 2

This morning we woke up and the kids were so excited to have kix for breakfast! We drove to Portland today (about an hour away) to visit my sister's best friend Rita who just had a baby and who also has a 2 year old daughter. The kids got to play at the park (YEAH) and feed ducks! They both fell asleep on the drive back (WOO HOO). After gathering a few things together from Debbie's house we drove out to the campground and ended up starting our camping trip a day early! The private park we are staying at is so beautiful! There's a huge field. A sandbox. A swingset. A river (down aways, so the kids wont just fall in). A huge firepit. Working plumbing if you know what I mean! Just a beautiful place and Nathalie is sooo excited to be here!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Vacation--Day 1

This morning I woke up at 4 am to get ready to go the airport, I woke up Sam around 4:30 and we carried the kids down to the car and were out the door by 4:45 which was my goal (woo hoo). Southwest was fantastic and provided Sam with a pass so that he was actually able to help me all the way onto the plane with the kids! William fell asleep before we even took off; and Nathalie couldn't have been more excited! We touched down in San Jose (but did not have to get off the plane) and as we took back off William awoke (I'm guessing due to his ears) and was fussy. I tried everything to soothe him and he wouldn't even nurse! The flight attendent was amazing and helped me to get him calmed down. The rest of the flight went well. My sisterinlaw picked us up at the airport. We stopped to eat on the way back to her house (both the kids were asleep so we drove through and ate in the car). We took a trip to Walmart to get a few things and then stayed in the rest of that night, I made Spaghetti for his sister, nephew, brother, mom and dad.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Leaving on a Jet plane

Tomorrow Am (EARLY) the kids and I take off on an airplane, I'll update you w/ all of our adventrues when I return next week!

Saturday, August 18, 2007


So Sam's Family reunion is coming up next weekend (the 24th through 26th) in Oregon. We didn't attend last year as I had just had William and the year before we drove with Nathalie. It was an amazing trip...I found out I was pregnant with William during that trip, by peeing on a stick in a portapotty lol! Anyways, I digress... This year we bought plane tickets, figuring that with 2 kids it'll be so much easier to fly for 3 hours rather than drive for 20! 4 days ago we found out that Sam will not be going with us; long story short there isn't proper coverage at work and well he's the boss so he can't go. Nathalie is SOOOOO excited about getting on an airplane, the last time that she flew she was 4 months old and I am pretty sure that she doesn't really remember that. I am nervous to fly alone with two kids. I am nervous to camp with two kids sans hubby. I am excited to go see his family and to camp; but, I just wish he could go with us.

Friday, August 17, 2007


Listen is the theme this week over at mama says om. I find that I truly need to listen to my own needs more often.
Trying to keep up with the thoughts as they process in my mind. I am trying to follow the voice in my heart, and reflectively have made several recent changes in my life due to listening to myself. I met up with a great friend last night who I haven't seen since before William's birth, and it was fantastic, it was as if we had just seen each other yesterday. That's the way it should be with true friends I believe. After talking with her over dinner I realized that both she and I give ourselves to freely to others, letting them walk all over us without expecting anything in return. I feel that I allow myself to be taken for granted and I don't know why.

I feel that I listen to my children's needs quite frequently, but do I do it often enough? Sometimes (more often than I'd like) I do what I want in a day and maybe don't listen to my children's wants and needs as much as a I should. Its a challenge to be a mother.

I try my hardest to listen to my husband whenever he comes to me with anything whether it be related to us or his work; I should try harder to not conflict with him, and to be a true open listening ear.

If you listen to everyone thats important to you for even one conversation imagine the things you would learn! Most importantly take the time to listen to yourself and your own needs!

Monday, August 13, 2007


Today was such a good day and for no reason in particular, it was just good. The kids were good; no melt downs. We went to Play Town in El Cajon and they loved it. both of them. They had so much fun and it was a nice air conditioned alternative to the heat in this horrible heat. Then we had lunch at Rubio's which my daughter tells me is her favorite place to eat (me thinks it may be the churro in the kid's meal) lol. Anyways it was just a nice day with my kids, one of those days that makes me so grateful to be a mom.

Friday, August 10, 2007

William sleeps... and some random bits

william got the message (thanks for asking sara) and since has slept (well not without nursing in the middle of the night) but at least hasnt woken to play in the middle of the night and for that I am grateful.

Tonight my sister and her boyfriend Dan (who we've known since High School, which is a whole nother post in itself) came over for dinner. We bought the most delicious pollo asada from Trader Joe's (which is my favorite store by the way) and had burritos. It was a nice night in.

My birthday is next month (September) and I think/hope that I'm going to pull off a Temecula winery tour. We'll see.

Nathalie told me today that she loves me more than Ice cream and in my book thats pretty big.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

William, night time is for sleeping

My dear son;
Please realize that your mother needs sleep. I do love playing with you, but honestly 2 AM on Tuesday morning wasn't the best time for me. Neither was 3 Am this morning. I'm hoping that this message telapathically is communicated to you and that you sleep tonight for Mama.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

15 months

William is 15 months old today! Here is a picture of him at Nana's house playing with a purse and although he may kill me later in life for this picture I couldn't pass up the photo op. He is a wild,crazy, rambunctious little one who keeps us on our toes at all times! He is an imaginitive, playful guy who loves to do his own stunts and chase his big sister around. He loves climbing (mostly on things he shouldn't) and he loves his mom more than anyone. I can't believe he's already 15 months old!

Friday, August 03, 2007

new camera

I got a new camera this week :) so here is one shot each of the kids.

Thursday, August 02, 2007


William falls often, he is crazy and climbs on things he shouldn't I find myself chasing him to catch him moments from sever danger. Today I was sitting at the computer chair and he was in my lap. In what seemed like a millisecond he stood up and went over my shoulder to the ground, head first. This was around 4:45. At 5:15 he threw up for the first time (ever). At 5:45 he threw up again. At 6 o'clock daddy got home and I left the big girl with him to take the boy to Kaiser pediatric urgent care. The good news, its just a "mild concussion"; the bad news there is really nothing I can do for him. I put some arnica on the huge nasty bump on his head and gave him a little rescue remedy; he is now sleeping. I have to wake him up in a little bit to make sure he will (wake up). I'm just glad to be home and that its nothing to severe.

Monday, July 30, 2007

The boy.

William's 1st molar broke through sometime between last night and this morning. Needless to say he nursed. all. night.long. HOwever, he seems happier tomorrow; unfortunately I know that there are 3 more molars to follow; his teeth count is now up to 9. William also took a face plant yesterday at my moms house while 3 grown people were watching him (thankfully I was at work; as my mom thought it might warrant a trip to the emergency room, it didn't. He has a huge goose egg on his forhead, a swollen nose w/ scab on his upper lip (think mustach area) a scab on his chin. If I remember to change the battery in my camera that has been dead for 3 weeks, I'll take a picture and post it later.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

banging head up against brick wall

my son is crying and wont stop.
my daughter is dancing for him tyring to make him (and mama) happy.
i'm wishing that I could go to a hideaway where I would be alone.
i'm now feeling like a bad mother.
i also wish the maid would come (oh wait I am the maid).
son is screaming louder guess I should go.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Incase you've ever wondered but didn't know

Okay so I was blog surfing as I was sitting here eating my dinner and on a blog that I came across from a comment of a blog that I regularly read (hope you followed all that) I read 100 things about a person I've never even met (and probably never will) anyways I thought hmmm I wonder if I could think of 100 interesting things about my life (you'll have to forgive me if some of them are Obvious and not so interesting)! So here it goes.

1.) I was born September 26, 1979. Which makes me a Libra who is currently 27 years old

2.) My mom's name is Viva Marie Bessie; her maiden Last name was Ostberg

3.) My dad's name is Lance Richard Martin

4.) In December (2007) my parent's will celebrate there 30th Wedding anniversary!

5.) I have only one Sister Nichole Dyann who is 14 months younger than me.

6.) My middle name is Deanne, and I like it a lot.

7.) I still have one set of Great-Grandparents, which means that my children have great-great grandparents. There Names are Lil and Sam Digifford.

8.) The first time I can remember experiencing death was when I was 13 years old, in 8th grade and My Great-grandma Sylvia passed away; that also is the first time I can recall seeing my dad cry!

9.) I never wanted any other siblings, and never longed for a brother.

10.) Now that I see the amazing relationship between my daughter and her brother, I sorta wish I had a brother!

11.) Of Course I'm also saddened that my daughter will never have a sister (that's closer to age than 15 years older).

12.) I grew up in Jamul, born and raised; my parents still live in the house that my father (with some assistance) built when I was 7.

13.) As a child I took Dance classes, played soccer, did Gymnastics, I was a cheerleader and swam competitively.

14.)Once I entered High School the only two I pursued were Gymnastics and Cheerleading.

15.) Growing up I always imagined I'd become a teacher.

16.) I have my BA in English Literature from SDSU as I was going to achieve my previous goal. I do not want to be a teacher, I decided it just wasn't for me.

17.) I babysat a lot in High School, and always knew I wanted children!

18.) I never imagined my daughter would be such a clone of me; not only in looks, but also in personality. (my poor mother)

19.) I was a vegetarian for a while, when I became pregnant with Nathalie I craved MEAT and I've just not made it back to being meat free again.

20.) When I was 14 we had a foreign exchange student from Belgium named Nathalie, she is where I fell in love with the name and spelling of my daughters name. Nathalie's middle name is Nichole after her auntie (my sister).

21.) I went to Europe (Switzerland, Holland, and England) when I was 10 for 3 weeks with my Grandmother (on my dad's side).

22.) I love to cook, but despise the mess that's left afterwards!

23.) My favorite Non-Alcoholic drink is Diet Pepsi.

24.) My favorite Alcoholic drink is Rum and coke or a Daiquiri.

25.) I have worked in Pharmacy for 10 years!

26.) I met my husband while working for Rite Aid in Hillcrest.

27.) The age difference between my husband and I is 16 years and 8 months

28.) I am starting school again; I want to be a pharmacist!

29.) I LOVE dark Chocolate and don't honestly believe there is a better invention on Earth!

30.)I love to shop (although I have really been trying not to lately)

31.)I would love to have a maid.

32.)I am only 5'3" and Nathalie is estimated to be 5'9", I think its crazy that they can guess at stuff like this.

33.)I am not shy. Like I said my daughter is my clone, would any of you call her shy? Ha!

34.)My favorite food is a tie between homemade lasagna and homemade Enchiladas!

35.) My husband's full name is Samuel Charles Long, He was named after both of his grandfathers!

36.) We considered naming William after both of his grandfathers, but then his Name would have been Lance Richard, we decided against this, due to #3 on my list. and instead decided that Richard as a middle name would suffice to represent both of his grandfathers!

37.) I love to read, but don't do it often enough.

38.) I also love to watch TV!

39.) my eyes are brown.

40.) on a daily basis I find myself amazed that I have 2 children that look and act so differently yet so much the same.

41.) I wish that I had more patience with my children and husband and often feel regret when I loose it with either of them.

42.) I greatly dislike going to the dentist, and so far I've been twice this month.

43.) I love flying on Airplanes; my husband hates it.

44.) I have found that I frequently give too much of myself to others.

45.) I often feel out of place amongst people.

46.) I regret mistakes that I have made, one of which cost me my best friend from High School.

47.) If William had been a girl his name would have been Lillian Kay after my Great Grandmother and my sister in law

48.) If Nathalie had been a boy her name was going to be Ian Richard, funny that Ian wasn't even discussed when we discovered William was a boy.

49.) If I ever had another baby (we won't as Sam had a Vasectomy) I love the name Jeremiah Charles for a boy and Brooklyn Kay for a girl; maybe I'll once have grand kids with those names.

50.) Theoretically I could be a grandma right now as my oldest step daughter is 18, thank goodness she's smarter than that and knows that its not a time for kids in her life (other than her baby brother and sister of course)!

51.) My step-daughters names are Jocelyn Celeste and Briana Chelsea; they are 18 and 15 and I miss them terribly.

52.) My favorite number, since about the age of 14 has been 52, because there are 52 weeks in the year.

53.) All 4 of my husband's children have middle names that are 7 letters long:
Celeste; Chelsea; Nichole and Richard! and it wasn't planned, it just happened!

54.)I would love to be a surrogate mother, but I don't think I ever will.

55.)I prefer dogs over cats 10 fold!

56.)My first job was at Dairy Queen.

57.)I have never been one to require a lot of sleep

58.)I have never been on a cruise and have always wanted to go on one, specifically to Alaska!

59.) My husband who has lived in San Diego for 25 years has never been to Las Vegas, I can't believe it; lol!

60.)It may be a bad thing, but I'm really not a germaphobe.

61.)I absolutely loved being pregnant (both times) and everything about it!

62.)I hate dishes and dusting, but like doing laundry and cleaning the bathroom

63.)I probably let my kids watch too much television

64.)If I had one wish at this moment, I would wish for William to stop throwing things on the ground and putting everything in his mouth.

65.) I am thankful that I never had twins.

66.) I love nothing in this world more than I love my children (even if some days I have to remind myself of this over and over).

67.) I really don't care what people say about me, I just wish they'd say it to my face and not behind my back.

68.) I am so grateful at how easily my daughter shares with my son.

69.)I am scared of death and of losing those close to me.

70.)Lateness is something that I try at all costs to avoid, even as a mother of 2. sometimes I realize it is inevitable, but I try to never be late, especially to appointments.

71.)I am an emotional person; always have been, and most likely always will be.

72.)My entire life I have been told that I am loud in both polite and impolite manners.

73.)my personality "type" is ESFJ (Extrovert Sensing Feeling Judging)my percentages break down to me being 89% Extrovert (that's huge) oh and here are the detail of my results "very expressed extrovert,moderately expressed sensing personality,
distinctively expressed feeling personality,slightly expressed judging personality"

74.)My first car was a 1989 Hyundai excel hatch back, that my parents bought me for 250 dollars, my dad made the car run, even converted it from a manual transmission to an automatic. The day the car was towed to our house my sister teased me that there was a big red spray painted "ouch" on the driver door, and I believed her and cried and cried. It wasn't true.

75.) One of the things I admire most about my Dad is his handiness (especially now that I have found the true value in this).

76.) I admire my mom for being a SAHM until my sister and I were teenagers, and then don't blame her in the least for wanting to get out of the house then. lol

77.)I hope that my Son and I have as good of a relationship as my husband and his mom; and that my daughter and I have one like my mom and I.

78.) I at this moment have the hiccups. I never have liked them and have gotten them frequently throughout my life, it was the one thing I didn't like when I was pregnant.

79.) My favorite kind of shoes are flip flops although I prefer being barefoot. My son has inherited this and screams, cries and kicks anytime I try to put any shoes other than his Crocs

80.) My favorite season is Fall.

81.)I recycle

82.)sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and be another place where I'm not a mom or a wife. Don't get me wrong I would not change my life for anything, I'm just saying.

83.)I find it completely odd that I often have conversations with my 3 year old that are more meaningful than a lot of adult conversation I have been a part of (whether listening or talking).

84.) I am caught up in amazement by watching my children grow, at the rapidness that they learn things, in their quickness to heal from injury, in their acceleration to forgive; I wish that adults could be more like this.

85.) I truly believe there is no more an amazing moment in life than the first time your child tells you they love you and understands what it means.

86.) I laugh when I think about my life right after I had William, one day Sam came home from work too a complete disaster he asked, "what did you do all day?" Fast forward about 3 months when I returned to work, the first day I came home from work to him and the kids he said "I never again will ask you what you did in a day." That moment in time made me feel excellent; truly.

87.)I am going back to school on August 27th, to finish up my prerequisites for Pharmacy school; in about 2 years I will be in Pharmacy school and in around 6 years I will have my PHarmD and be a pharmacist.

88.) I love to write; stories, poems, thoughts, I would love to write a book, I don't know what about and I don't know if it would ever happen but I want to.

89.) I am spontaneous, my husband is not.

90.)I love grocery shopping, especially without Kids!

91.) I have always wanted a Volvo xc70; maybe when I finish school

92.)I hate diets, and wont go on one.

93.) I sometimes find myself wishing I had extra hours in the day or didn't need to sleep so that I could get more stuff done.

94.)I am a Christian, I believe in God, and Heaven; but do not believe in ghosts.

95.)I don't feel like I have a person in my life that I could call my best friend, I'm totally okay with that; I have always been a bit of an outsider, but that's what makes me who I am and I don't mind it.

96.) I graduated High School in 1997; I am not attending my 10 year reunion this year.

97.) I believe in 2nd chances.

98.) I believe in unconditional love.

99.)I am not a fan of President Bush (at all).

100.) My favorite color is Yellow.

Monday, July 23, 2007

William's words at almost 15 months!

William will be 15 months old on the 4th. I just thought I'd update with a few words/signs he is currently saying/using

Words: ma or muu for mama
daaadaaa for Dada
high pitched squeal....Nathalie (soooo appropriate)!
elllo for Hello (on telephone)
tiiicl tiiicl for tickle tickle

signs and speaks:
more (says mooo mooo) for more
Ball says baaa while signing for ball
up and says up for pick me up!
no only shakes head rapidly back and forth for no

I think thats about it!

Friday, July 20, 2007


Tonight I got out of the house sans kids and husband to go play bunco with a bunch of fellow moms! It was such a blast I can not believe how much I enjoyed myself! Who ever knew that rolling dice could be so much fun! I had the most wins which allowed me to walk out with 40 more dollars than I walked in with *it was a 10 dollar buy in* Whats even stranger is that this is my 3rd post today! What am I going to do with the 40 dollars, well I'll give you one guess? Remember This post from earlier today?! I think I'm going to set aside that money towards the carrier!!!

a contest that I WOULD LOVE to win

5 minutes for mom is holding a contest to win $300 in Horizon Organic products and I really would LOVE to win so Im entering you can enter too.

Chinado baby carrier

I have found my next baby carrier, you can see it here, I want one; can I justify spending that much on a new carrier when my baby is already 14.5 months old, I think yes, because said baby loves to be worn; now can I convince dh, to bad by birthday is still 2 months away! I think I could wait 2 months!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Nathalie is going to school

A much debated topic I am quite aware! After much deliberation, Sam and I have decided to enroll Nathalie in Preschool! I must say that it helped me tremendously to read Sara's information on her daughters first day of school After much research and what seemed like countless (in reality it was only 3) visits we found a school that both she and we love! There are so many benefits to the school that we registered in. Most importantly it seems that they believe in a lot of the same philosophies we do as parents (educators). Although they provide snacks and lunch for the kids, we are welcome to provide our own (which I may or may not do, not sure yet)! They believe in gentle discipline (BIG ONE in my book). They are super close to our house, which I must admit factored in as well and have a completely open campus (which means we can visit whenever we or she wants). The preschool is called The Grey Rabbit which some of you may be familiar with *right across the street from Collier Park*. She will attend 3 days a week Mondays Tuesdays and Fridays from 9 until 4 (although the hours are quite flexible). She starts September 4th, 1 week after Mama goes back to school!! It will be so good for her (and allow me not only some alone time with William; but considering that William still naps, some study time.) She can't stop talking about the pet bunny they have named snowball (one of several small pets they have) or all the kids she saw and teachers she met! After visiting this morning she told me she wanted to go back (which was the first time out of the schools we saw that she said this) I think she may realize how close in proximity it is to our house and the park that we frequent so often and in her mind it must help her to realize that mama will always be close!

Does this really need any words?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


This weeks theme at mama says om is responsibility! I haven't participated in one of their weekly themes in quite some while (read: slacker!) but as I read what they wanted out of "responsibility" I felt a sudden urge to write! They wrote "Tell us one story of how you were "responsible" during pregnancy and how you feel it set(s) you up for parenting." and as I read that line I somewhat chuckled to myself!

When I found out I was pregnant with Nathalie I was one month away from my 23rd birthday! I had just graduated college and her father and I were engaged but not yet married. Her father had just had two stints put in and nearly suffered a heart attack (BAD GENES). I did things that were bad for my body, I smoked cigarettes and drank) The first sacrifices I made for my daughter were giving up those two things. The sacrifices I've made since are countless! I couldn't believe that in 9 months I was going to be responsible for another human being! Fast forward 3 years, I am now a mother of 2, and the small sacrifices I made during immediate discovery of my pregnancy with Nathalie do not even come close to the amount of responsibility a mother has!

The responsibilities I have are countless, I have a responsibility to be a good mother to my children. I feel that I have a responsibility to show my daughter a positive female role model, as well as my son! I want my son to grow up to respect women as well as his father does. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that a woman can be anything she wants to be! I have a responsibility to be a strong, supportive, loving wife to my husband! I have a responsibility to be a hard worker both at home and at work! I have a responsibility to myself to finish my post baccalaureate studies, to earn my PHD in pharmacy and become Dr. Erika Long, this responsibility runs deep not only to fulfill my own heart but to help provide a good life for my children!

The responsibilites of life are endless, its an amazing thing motherhood, without it I wouldn't be who I am today! I love my life, my husband and my family and I am happy with the responsibilities set before me!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Absence, Life, and the future

So the last time I took my kids to playgroup was pre-Sam's's been over 3 weeks. We were going to go on Monday when my transmission decided it wasn't such a good idea; and although I would LOVE to get a new(er) car Sam says we should wait until February or March, luckily my DAD can fix cars!!!! And he is coming to my rescue today (yet again; he just replaced my master cylinder on Saturday)and for the small price of 80 dollars my car (fingers crossed) should be up and running. I feel like a horrible mom but between his surgery and them getting sick yesterday really was the first time we would have been able to go, so I don't feel too bad after all, we won't make our Thursday playgroup this week either because I have to work and next Monday we have plans to go to the beach *but at least I'll be getting the kids out of the house* so hopefully they'll get to go to playgroup next Thursday!

Furthermore; I registered for school today! I'm going to start on 8-27 and will be taking Organic Chemistry plus Lab which is 5 units and Calculus which is 3. I am very satisfied with the schedule I got because I will have class M & W nights from about 530 to 1030 and Tuesdays from 6-10. During this semester I will be working Sundays and Wednesdays 8 hours each and thurs and fri nights. So if you've done the math my only day without work or school will be Saturdays. We are seriously considering part time preschool for Nathalie, she would attend Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays and although I'm iffy about this, the school is walking distance from our house, and we are going to look at it on Thursday morning, Sam really wants me to have time to study and since William still naps at least I would get a little time to do that during the days Nathalie was (is) at school!

I want to be the best mom I can to my kids and I know that once I finish my PHD program in (fingers crossed again) roughly 6 years I can work less and make more! in 6 years I will be 34 and be the mother of a 9 and 7 year old; that is quite frightening to me. My husband will be 50 at that time and who knows if all goes well maybe he'll be ready to be a SAHD by then, he talks about it often and he would be a great SAHD; so we'll see!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Happy Saturday....Truly

Things are looking brighter here today!!!! William slept off and on between major cranky fits all day yesterday he probably took 4 naps 45 minutes to 1 hour in length!Last night San took him to bed with him at 8 and he didn't wake to nurse until 6 am; and I actually went to bed with Nathalie last night around 830 b/c I was sooo exhausted, so I got 9 full hours of sleep how exciting is that?!!!! I am very fortunate that Sam does all the middle of the night comforting at this point, and that now that William is feeling better he replies to it well! I was also excited that for two of William's naps yesterday I was able to lie him down on the bed and pat his back (he's a belly sleeper)for about 10 minutes or so to put him to sleep, it was the first time I've ever been able to have him nap after nursing rather than while nursing!

Nathalie and I made some delicious "zebra" brownies today as well as a fruit salad and some potato salad. Papa and Nana bbq'd dinner and although I skipped the meat (**I'm slowly phasing it out of my diet**) I truly enjoyed a meal of Fruit, Potato salad and corn on the cob!!!

Friday, July 13, 2007


The exact conversation went something like this:

Me: "Nathalie please don't drink out of William's water cup, your both sick and I don't want each of you to get sicker"

Her: "we both alweady sick maaam"

Me: " I know sweetie but you guys are different kinds of sick"

Her: "Why?"

Which by the way is one of her most favorite questions of late!

sick kids!

William had a fever for about 4 days, followed by diarrhea and now a rash it appears that he has Roseola and although there is nothing I can do for it at least I know his constant scream crying and tiredness are explained! Nathalie threw up again 2 times the night before last with no apparent explanation! I've really had enough of the sickies at my house anyone want them next?

Monday, July 09, 2007

Good News

Nathalie has slept in Underwear the past 2 nights; no accidents; no more pull ups we are happy campers!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Let the fun begin

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law left to go home to Oregon today! I am sad that they had to leave; especially because I know longer have help with the recovering husband oh I mean with my kids! Sam has now broken out in hives over his entire body; I think its just stress, I really don't know what else it could be! He's actually returning to work on Monday, only to do paper work and office stuff, the Dr. said its fine as long as he DOES NOT USE HIS LEFT ARM (oh did I mention that he's left handed) but he can use his left hand so at least in immediate need he could sign his name! We have been doing physical therapy; not quite as frequently as they recommend but the pain this poor guy is in at some point enough is enough!

ON the kid front Nathalie woke up Monday morning around 7:30 and said "I'm gonna throw-up!" and she did all over our bed which she was in with Sam, but thankfully not all over Sam! She proceeded to throw up about two more times Monday morning, and then was seemingly fine for the rest of monday and all of Tuesday! Wednesday morning (the 4th) she woke up again around midnight(this time next to me on the air mattress) and said "I'm gonna throw-up" and she did; more than I ever imagined possible for such a little girl...She threw up only once more that day and now it seems to have left!

William has found new love for dancing this past couple of weeks and it is the most adorable thing I have ever seen! and he's discovered how to "jump" if you consider bending your knees and moving upwards (without your feet leaving the ground) with all of his might--jumping! But the excitment in his face when he "jumps" is amazing!

Well thats where we stand, slowly getting back into a normal routine!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

14 months; update on Sam; and its the 4th of July

Today my dear son William is 14 months old and I can't believe it! it's gone by so fast, in the past 2 months he has turned into such a little boy and I start to wonder where my baby has gone! The words he's begun to speak in this past week beyond mama and dada are "pu pu" for up up when he's climbing up our stairs; "waaastha?" for What's that and my favorite is when he tries to have a conversation with you by saying "blah blah blah blah" His laughter brings a smile to my face and his smile melts my heart!

Onto my dear husband Sam! As if having surgery a week and a half ago wasn't enough, he now has shingles! He's doing okay considering but its been hard on all of us!

Happy 4th of July to everyone; we are heading out to my parents for a swim and bbq!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Uptate on Sam's Shoulder surgery

Surgery went well, it was long and hard on his body, but he is sleeping as we speak and seriously medicated, but neccissarily so! We arrived at Kaiser Zion yesterday at 8 am and got him checked in around 8 15. We entered into Pre-op around 9:15 and waited there for about 3 hours, as his Orthopedic surgeon was running about an hour behind! They took him away from me at around Noon and because the surgeon said that I could expect to be waiting for 3 to 3 and a half hours I left the hospital came home to check on the kids (which for the record were BOTH napping?!) made myself a sandwich and then drove back to the hospital. I arrived back at the hospital around 130, I signed into the surgical waiting room and waited....I tried to read, but couldn't focus, so I just waited. I talked to a few people, I met an amazing woman who had survived 2 types of cancer and was there supporting her friend! I talked to a man about the insane difference between girls and boys (as in little kids). Around 4:30 (4 and a half hours after I last saw Sam) I decided to check and he was still in surgery! I finally saw the surgeon around 6:00 PM and it turns out that the surgery was a little more invasive than we had planned and the surgeon needed to not only go in arthroscopically but also had to make a 3 inch incision in order to repair the bicep. I was told he'd be in recovery for about an hour and then I finally got to see him in Post op, he looked horrible and I'm sure he felt 10 times worse than he looked! Today has been a day of mostly sleep and a lot of medicine; he says he definitely wouldn't do it again! Keep us in your thoughts as the road will be slow and bumpy to recovery!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Sam's shoulder surgery

so Sam's surgery is on Monday and I figure now is as good a time as any to explain the extensiveness of his injury. His orthopedic surgeon will be Dr. Samuel Park, who seems like a nice enough guy, and if anything, Sam likes his name; ha! Anyways, Sam's shoulder is classified as Chronic pain, and the surgeon said, he's never seen a shoulder in quite as bad condition (Gee, that's reassuring). Sam has 5 things that they are going to attempt to repair in a Surgery that wil take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. Dr.Park is going to attempt to do the entire surgery arthroscopically, but is prepared to "cut him open" if need be! We are truly hoping for the arthroscopic route as both the pain and healing time are much less! The first injury that requires repair, is Sam's Rotator cuff Which has a complete tear on 75% of it, and a partial tear on the other 25%. Also Sam has a bone spur in the rotator cuff that will be removed. The next injury is his bicep and although this website shows scars at the elbow Dr. Park will be doing this from the shoulder,he will cut and reattach the bicep (doesn't this sound fun?) The 4th thing requiring attention is a growth of arthritis on Sam's clavicle they will fix this through a technique called subacromial smoothing. Finally, on the back side of Sam's shouder are several tear in his labral tendon's which the doctor is going to "clean up" while he's in there! So there you have it! There is some good news in all of this, first and foremost Sam will no longer be in chronic pain! Also My mother in law and Sister in law arrive on Saturday to help me with the kids and hubby for 2 weeks!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Busy weeks ahead....

Today Nathalie and I spent the day cleaning and organizing her bedroom! We are so excited that her Daddy's Mom and Sister will be here at the end of the week! Sam is due to have major shoulder surgery 1 week from today; I am anxious (but don't tell him that, I am nervous (but don't mention that to him either); I am sure that this is the best decision for his health and well being. I am sure that this is going to help him tremendosly escape from the chronic pain he suffers on a daily basis! Tonight I have to work from 6 to 10; tomorrow I have to work from 9 to 6, and then we are going to make a trip to costco to stock up for the visit; Wednesday will be time to get back on the cleaning track! Wednesday night, I start my Summer school class; Calculus, now don't get too jealous! Thursday My mom and I are taking the kids to Legoland for the first time, which was planned before I knew my in-laws would be coming 2 days later! Friday will be more cleaning, and I work in the evening and then Saturday we'll they'll be here! They are driving from Oregon, and we rented them a car, they will leave Oregon Friday morning and stay somewhere along the way and pick up driving again Saturday Morning! So we expect them to arrive around Saturday afternoon or evening! Sunday I will work so The kids will get to spend the day With their Grandma Edith, Aunt Debbie, cousin Joshua and of course Daddy! Monday is Sam's surgery and we still don't know what time its at, apparently the way Kaiser does it is by notifying you the day before, oh okay! While Sam's family is here Debbie and I intend to take Nathalie to her first movie (Surf's up); and we will most likely take a trip to Sea World! Other than that most of the time will probably be spent around the house keeping care of dh! We are going to try to make it to some playgroups, although that will definitely not happen the rest of this week or next week, but maybe the 1st week of July?!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Rough Day!

I feel like their are mom's out there that have it together with all of their children all of the time! The mom's that can predict trouble before it occurs, if you know what I'm talking about! I love those mom's, I envy those mom's, and I'm here to say I will never be one of those mom's and I am completely okay with that!Today has been rough, real rough! I feel like the kids get into things left and right the second I blink an eye, and even right in front of me! William is teething like crazy and therefore attached to the at night he is weaned, he normally wakes anywhere between 4 and 7 *this am it was7*and then nurses for 2 to 3 hours, to me the marathon morning nursing is worth it! our secret was me sleeping in another room! most nights William and Nathalie sleep with Daddy in our room; leaving me on the extra bed in Nathalie's room! Often times Nathalie will join me! Two nights a week (tonight being one of them) The kids and I sleep in my room *(usually causing William to nurse once in the middle of the night rather than not at all)! Anywhoo...I have found that night weaning just naturally worked itself into our house and for my sanity it was very much needed at this point in my and William's nursing relationship, I definetely give props to the mamas that night nurse as I have done it w/ him for the past 13 months, but I just.couldnt.anymore. His new nursing cue is adorable, well if you like to have a kid slapping your boob screaming "OOOO OOO OOOO" that is, lol! anyways its now 830 a half hour past when the kids are normally in bed and they are actually jumping on the bed behind me and Nathalie just informed be that "WEEEAMM is EAting a crayon" I guess thats my cue to play mom! I hate these nights, the ones where my husband isnt here to put them to bed for me! Time for stories!!!