Tuesday, February 20, 2007
you should probably get comfortable...warning whining post ahead
I havent posted in 2 weeks. Life is just getting away from me! I'd like to say I have been busy accomplishing things, but thats not reality. I'm stressed out, a little depressed and have been caring for a vomiting and diahrea producing almost 3 year old since Friday! I have been getting horrible headaches lately, complaining about everything imaginable and completely unmotivated to do anything! For about 7 of the last 14 days I think I've remained in pajamas the entire day, the other 7 only dressing myself in order to go to work! I haven't gone grocery shopping in over 2 weeks and we are eating very creative meals as a result ( minus the aforementioned ill almost 3 yr old) . I'm tired all the time, lacking motivation and dizzy with regret. I often (recently) have felt anger towards my husband, for not being more helpful with the kids, when we are both home together. I often feel like I am a single mother yet I'm not and I don't want to be! I confronted my husband regarding these issues last night and he has been kissing my ass ever since, which is not what I'm after either! I explained to him, as I now will to all you that I become frustrated that on the days he works his 8 hours, when he comes home he expects me to make dinner, bathe the kids etc, explaining that he is so tired from his day at work, on the days I work 8 hours he expects the same! Don't get me wrong I love my family and my life, but sometimes I too need a small break granted my work is not (physically) as hard as his (and yes I am reminded of this often)....I truly love my dh despite all of this and hope you all dont think I don't; however, over these past couple weeks I have reached a breaking point, slowly sinking into a black oblivion, I feel like I'm treading water and fighting to catch my breath... I struggle to make everyone else happy and realize I really need to make myself happy first! Alright well thank you all for listening to me vent!