Chinado baby carrier

I have found my next baby carrier, you can see it here, I want one; can I justify spending that much on a new carrier when my baby is already 14.5 months old, I think yes, because said baby loves to be worn; now can I convince dh, to bad by birthday is still 2 months away! I think I could wait 2 months!

Nathalie is going to school

A much debated topic I am quite aware! After much deliberation, Sam and I have decided to enroll Nathalie in Preschool! I must say that it helped me tremendously to read Sara's information on her daughters first day of school After much research and what seemed like countless (in reality it was only 3) visits we found a school that both she and we love! There are so many benefits to the school that we registered in. Most importantly it seems that they believe in a lot of the same philosophies we do as parents (educators). Although they provide snacks and lunch for the kids, we are welcome to provide our own (which I may or may not do, not sure yet)! They believe in gentle discipline (BIG ONE in my book). They are super close to our house, which I must admit factored in as well and have a completely open campus (which means we can visit whenever we or she wants). The preschool is called The Grey Rabbit which some of you may be familiar with *right across the street from Collier Park*. She will attend 3 days a week Mondays Tuesdays and Fridays from 9 until 4 (although the hours are quite flexible). She starts September 4th, 1 week after Mama goes back to school!! It will be so good for her (and allow me not only some alone time with William; but considering that William still naps, some study time.) She can't stop talking about the pet bunny they have named snowball (one of several small pets they have) or all the kids she saw and teachers she met! After visiting this morning she told me she wanted to go back (which was the first time out of the schools we saw that she said this) I think she may realize how close in proximity it is to our house and the park that we frequent so often and in her mind it must help her to realize that mama will always be close!

Does this really need any words?

Responsibility

This weeks theme at mama says om is responsibility! I haven't participated in one of their weekly themes in quite some while (read: slacker!) but as I read what they wanted out of "responsibility" I felt a sudden urge to write! They wrote "Tell us one story of how you were "responsible" during pregnancy and how you feel it set(s) you up for parenting." and as I read that line I somewhat chuckled to myself!

When I found out I was pregnant with Nathalie I was one month away from my 23rd birthday! I had just graduated college and her father and I were engaged but not yet married. Her father had just had two stints put in and nearly suffered a heart attack (BAD GENES). I did things that were bad for my body, I smoked cigarettes and drank) The first sacrifices I made for my daughter were giving up those two things. The sacrifices I've made since are countless! I couldn't believe that in 9 months I was going to be responsible for another human being! Fast forward 3 years, I am now a mother of 2, and the small sacrifices I made during immediate discovery of my pregnancy with Nathalie do not even come close to the amount of responsibility a mother has!

The responsibilities I have are countless, I have a responsibility to be a good mother to my children. I feel that I have a responsibility to show my daughter a positive female role model, as well as my son! I want my son to grow up to respect women as well as his father does. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that a woman can be anything she wants to be! I have a responsibility to be a strong, supportive, loving wife to my husband! I have a responsibility to be a hard worker both at home and at work! I have a responsibility to myself to finish my post baccalaureate studies, to earn my PHD in pharmacy and become Dr. Erika Long, this responsibility runs deep not only to fulfill my own heart but to help provide a good life for my children!

The responsibilites of life are endless, its an amazing thing motherhood, without it I wouldn't be who I am today! I love my life, my husband and my family and I am happy with the responsibilities set before me!

Absence, Life, and the future

So the last time I took my kids to playgroup was pre-Sam's surgery...it's been over 3 weeks. We were going to go on Monday when my transmission decided it wasn't such a good idea; and although I would LOVE to get a new(er) car Sam says we should wait until February or March, luckily my DAD can fix cars!!!! And he is coming to my rescue today (yet again; he just replaced my master cylinder on Saturday)and for the small price of 80 dollars my car (fingers crossed) should be up and running. I feel like a horrible mom but between his surgery and them getting sick yesterday really was the first time we would have been able to go, so I don't feel too bad after all, we won't make our Thursday playgroup this week either because I have to work and next Monday we have plans to go to the beach *but at least I'll be getting the kids out of the house* so hopefully they'll get to go to playgroup next Thursday!

Furthermore; I registered for school today! I'm going to start on 8-27 and will be taking Organic Chemistry plus Lab which is 5 units and Calculus which is 3. I am very satisfied with the schedule I got because I will have class M & W nights from about 530 to 1030 and Tuesdays from 6-10. During this semester I will be working Sundays and Wednesdays 8 hours each and thurs and fri nights. So if you've done the math my only day without work or school will be Saturdays. We are seriously considering part time preschool for Nathalie, she would attend Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays and although I'm iffy about this, the school is walking distance from our house, and we are going to look at it on Thursday morning, Sam really wants me to have time to study and since William still naps at least I would get a little time to do that during the days Nathalie was (is) at school!

I want to be the best mom I can to my kids and I know that once I finish my PHD program in (fingers crossed again) roughly 6 years I can work less and make more! in 6 years I will be 34 and be the mother of a 9 and 7 year old; that is quite frightening to me. My husband will be 50 at that time and who knows if all goes well maybe he'll be ready to be a SAHD by then, he talks about it often and he would be a great SAHD; so we'll see!

Happy Saturday....Truly

Things are looking brighter here today!!!! William slept off and on between major cranky fits all day yesterday he probably took 4 naps 45 minutes to 1 hour in length!Last night San took him to bed with him at 8 and he didn't wake to nurse until 6 am; and I actually went to bed with Nathalie last night around 830 b/c I was sooo exhausted, so I got 9 full hours of sleep how exciting is that?!!!! I am very fortunate that Sam does all the middle of the night comforting at this point, and that now that William is feeling better he replies to it well! I was also excited that for two of William's naps yesterday I was able to lie him down on the bed and pat his back (he's a belly sleeper)for about 10 minutes or so to put him to sleep, it was the first time I've ever been able to have him nap after nursing rather than while nursing!

Nathalie and I made some delicious "zebra" brownies today as well as a fruit salad and some potato salad. Papa and Nana bbq'd dinner and although I skipped the meat (**I'm slowly phasing it out of my diet**) I truly enjoyed a meal of Fruit, Potato salad and corn on the cob!!!

KIDS

The exact conversation went something like this:

Me: "Nathalie please don't drink out of William's water cup, your both sick and I don't want each of you to get sicker"

Her: "we both alweady sick maaam"

Me: " I know sweetie but you guys are different kinds of sick"

Her: "Why?"

Which by the way is one of her most favorite questions of late!

sick kids!

William had a fever for about 4 days, followed by diarrhea and now a rash it appears that he has Roseola and although there is nothing I can do for it at least I know his constant scream crying and tiredness are explained! Nathalie threw up again 2 times the night before last with no apparent explanation! I've really had enough of the sickies at my house anyone want them next?

Good News

Nathalie has slept in Underwear the past 2 nights; no accidents; no more pull ups we are happy campers!

Let the fun begin

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law left to go home to Oregon today! I am sad that they had to leave; especially because I know longer have help with the recovering husband oh I mean with my kids! Sam has now broken out in hives over his entire body; I think its just stress, I really don't know what else it could be! He's actually returning to work on Monday, only to do paper work and office stuff, the Dr. said its fine as long as he DOES NOT USE HIS LEFT ARM (oh did I mention that he's left handed) but he can use his left hand so at least in immediate need he could sign his name! We have been doing physical therapy; not quite as frequently as they recommend but the pain this poor guy is in at some point enough is enough!

ON the kid front Nathalie woke up Monday morning around 7:30 and said "I'm gonna throw-up!" and she did all over our bed which she was in with Sam, but thankfully not all over Sam! She proceeded to throw up about two more times Monday morning, and then was seemingly fine for the rest of monday and all of Tuesday! Wednesday morning (the 4th) she woke up again around midnight(this time next to me on the air mattress) and said "I'm gonna throw-up" and she did; more than I ever imagined possible for such a little girl...She threw up only once more that day and now it seems to have left!

William has found new love for dancing this past couple of weeks and it is the most adorable thing I have ever seen! and he's discovered how to "jump" if you consider bending your knees and moving upwards (without your feet leaving the ground) with all of his might--jumping! But the excitment in his face when he "jumps" is amazing!

Well thats where we stand, slowly getting back into a normal routine!

14 months; update on Sam; and its the 4th of July

Today my dear son William is 14 months old and I can't believe it! it's gone by so fast, in the past 2 months he has turned into such a little boy and I start to wonder where my baby has gone! The words he's begun to speak in this past week beyond mama and dada are "pu pu" for up up when he's climbing up our stairs; "waaastha?" for What's that and my favorite is when he tries to have a conversation with you by saying "blah blah blah blah" His laughter brings a smile to my face and his smile melts my heart!


Onto my dear husband Sam! As if having surgery a week and a half ago wasn't enough, he now has shingles! He's doing okay considering but its been hard on all of us!

Happy 4th of July to everyone; we are heading out to my parents for a swim and bbq!

Uptate on Sam's Shoulder surgery

Surgery went well, it was long and hard on his body, but he is sleeping as we speak and seriously medicated, but neccissarily so! We arrived at Kaiser Zion yesterday at 8 am and got him checked in around 8 15. We entered into Pre-op around 9:15 and waited there for about 3 hours, as his Orthopedic surgeon was running about an hour behind! They took him away from me at around Noon and because the surgeon said that I could expect to be waiting for 3 to 3 and a half hours I left the hospital came home to check on the kids (which for the record were BOTH napping?!) made myself a sandwich and then drove back to the hospital. I arrived back at the hospital around 130, I signed into the surgical waiting room and waited....I tried to read, but couldn't focus, so I just waited. I talked to a few people, I met an amazing woman who had survived 2 types of cancer and was there supporting her friend! I talked to a man about the insane difference between girls and boys (as in little kids). Around 4:30 (4 and a half hours after I last saw Sam) I decided to check and he was still in surgery! I finally saw the surgeon around 6:00 PM and it turns out that the surgery was a little more invasive than we had planned and the surgeon needed to not only go in arthroscopically but also had to make a 3 inch incision in order to repair the bicep. I was told he'd be in recovery for about an hour and then I finally got to see him in Post op, he looked horrible and I'm sure he felt 10 times worse than he looked! Today has been a day of mostly sleep and a lot of medicine; he says he definitely wouldn't do it again! Keep us in your thoughts as the road will be slow and bumpy to recovery!

Legoland! In pictures, too tired for words right now!

It was lots of fun for everyone!

Sam's shoulder surgery

so Sam's surgery is on Monday and I figure now is as good a time as any to explain the extensiveness of his injury. His orthopedic surgeon will be Dr. Samuel Park, who seems like a nice enough guy, and if anything, Sam likes his name; ha! Anyways, Sam's shoulder is classified as Chronic pain, and the surgeon said, he's never seen a shoulder in quite as bad condition (Gee, that's reassuring). Sam has 5 things that they are going to attempt to repair in a Surgery that wil take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. Dr.Park is going to attempt to do the entire surgery arthroscopically, but is prepared to "cut him open" if need be! We are truly hoping for the arthroscopic route as both the pain and healing time are much less! The first injury that requires repair, is Sam's Rotator cuff Which has a complete tear on 75% of it, and a partial tear on the other 25%. Also Sam has a bone spur in the rotator cuff that will be removed. The next injury is his bicep and although this website shows scars at the elbow Dr. Park will be doing this from the shoulder,he will cut and reattach the bicep (doesn't this sound fun?) The 4th thing requiring attention is a growth of arthritis on Sam's clavicle they will fix this through a technique called subacromial smoothing. Finally, on the back side of Sam's shouder are several tear in his labral tendon's which the doctor is going to "clean up" while he's in there! So there you have it! There is some good news in all of this, first and foremost Sam will no longer be in chronic pain! Also My mother in law and Sister in law arrive on Saturday to help me with the kids and hubby for 2 weeks!

Busy weeks ahead....

Today Nathalie and I spent the day cleaning and organizing her bedroom! We are so excited that her Daddy's Mom and Sister will be here at the end of the week! Sam is due to have major shoulder surgery 1 week from today; I am anxious (but don't tell him that, I am nervous (but don't mention that to him either); I am sure that this is the best decision for his health and well being. I am sure that this is going to help him tremendosly escape from the chronic pain he suffers on a daily basis! Tonight I have to work from 6 to 10; tomorrow I have to work from 9 to 6, and then we are going to make a trip to costco to stock up for the visit; Wednesday will be time to get back on the cleaning track! Wednesday night, I start my Summer school class; Calculus, now don't get too jealous! Thursday My mom and I are taking the kids to Legoland for the first time, which was planned before I knew my in-laws would be coming 2 days later! Friday will be more cleaning, and I work in the evening and then Saturday we'll they'll be here! They are driving from Oregon, and we rented them a car, they will leave Oregon Friday morning and stay somewhere along the way and pick up driving again Saturday Morning! So we expect them to arrive around Saturday afternoon or evening! Sunday I will work so The kids will get to spend the day With their Grandma Edith, Aunt Debbie, cousin Joshua and of course Daddy! Monday is Sam's surgery and we still don't know what time its at, apparently the way Kaiser does it is by notifying you the day before, oh okay! While Sam's family is here Debbie and I intend to take Nathalie to her first movie (Surf's up); and we will most likely take a trip to Sea World! Other than that most of the time will probably be spent around the house keeping care of dh! We are going to try to make it to some playgroups, although that will definitely not happen the rest of this week or next week, but maybe the 1st week of July?!

Rough Day!

I feel like their are mom's out there that have it together with all of their children all of the time! The mom's that can predict trouble before it occurs, if you know what I'm talking about! I love those mom's, I envy those mom's, and I'm here to say I will never be one of those mom's and I am completely okay with that!Today has been rough, real rough! I feel like the kids get into things left and right the second I blink an eye, and even right in front of me! William is teething like crazy and therefore attached to the boob.all.day.long. at night he is weaned, he normally wakes anywhere between 4 and 7 *this am it was7*and then nurses for 2 to 3 hours, to me the marathon morning nursing is worth it! our secret was me sleeping in another room! most nights William and Nathalie sleep with Daddy in our room; leaving me on the extra bed in Nathalie's room! Often times Nathalie will join me! Two nights a week (tonight being one of them) The kids and I sleep in my room *(usually causing William to nurse once in the middle of the night rather than not at all)! Anywhoo...I have found that night weaning just naturally worked itself into our house and for my sanity it was very much needed at this point in my and William's nursing relationship, I definetely give props to the mamas that night nurse as I have done it w/ him for the past 13 months, but I just.couldnt.anymore. His new nursing cue is adorable, well if you like to have a kid slapping your boob screaming "OOOO OOO OOOO" that is, lol! anyways its now 830 a half hour past when the kids are normally in bed and they are actually jumping on the bed behind me and Nathalie just informed be that "WEEEAMM is EAting a crayon" I guess thats my cue to play mom! I hate these nights, the ones where my husband isnt here to put them to bed for me! Time for stories!!!

another contest~~~

So Nathalie didn't win any free shoes! Its really okay as she has quite a few pairs, I think she will survive! This week, there is a new contest that I am interested in at Adventures in babywearing. At this point William and I have a love relationship with one WAHM Mei tai that I bought used! We would love to get another carrier, I'm quite interested in getting a wrap! The contest is for a $75 gift certificate to mama kanga! The other thing I am highly interested in purchasing from mama kanga are some baby legs both for William and Nathalie!

free shoes?!!

As you all may or may not know Nathalie has a small obsession with shoes! Today while reading wannabehippie's blog, I discovered a contest to win free shoes, and not just any free shoes but the super cute shoes at http://www.vincentshoestore.us/ Oh what a field day Nathalie would have with such a large selection of beatiful shoes and for free none the less! Some of my favorites for her include The elvira shoe ; and, The Sam shoe , However; I think if given the choice the shoes Nathalie will pick are Prinsessa! the shoe contest is being run by adventures in babywearing Go here to sign up to win your own!!

pictures of the kids

ok so the aforementioned cleaning isn't really happening today since William has decided that he needs to nurse non stop today. So in the meantime, here are some recentish pics of the kids!

Today

woke up far to early
drove through starbucks on way to park as result of waking up far to early :)!
Watched kids play at park.
drove through mexican food on way home from park, because i'm lazy.
threw william's diapers in the wash
currently nathalie is watching dora while i nurse william
once william is asleep I intend to clean the kitchen, and maybe Nathalie's room
I have to work tonight from 6 to 10
William just bit me :(
Did I mention that I woke up far to early!