new toy

what did we buy our kids now? right thats what your thinking I know it.... NO my friends its what we bought ourselves....A NEW COMPUTER...I am so excited I am so excited oh wait did I just say that twice sorry oops! Anyways, the most exciting part is that I AM FINALLY ABLE TO UPLOAD PICTURES AGAIN! So now my friends you will be inundated with pictures woo hoo I know your excited....and just to spice up this post here are some Pictures of Nathalie and William from todays trip to the zoo. Oh and a couple more things...The last picture is of Dylan (Nathalies buddy) and Nathalie....and I will go back and update old posts with pictures but not right now, as I must go cook dinner....(er I mean heat up already made dinner...details details).

redemption

so the flu carrying child mentioned in the previous post passed on her germies (no big surprise) and as the flu seems to be leaving our house William seems to be the only one who didn't suffer (woo hoo). 2 days ago was when I hit the worst of this bug and dh totally redeemed himself in several ways but the two most important are 1) He left work to come care for the kids so I could attach myself to the toilet and sleep (not simutanouesly)...and 2) as I was attached to the toilet he says to me "William is so lucky to have you as a mama, its because your still nursing him that hes not sick like all of us" AWWWW I am appreciated!

you should probably get comfortable...warning whining post ahead

I havent posted in 2 weeks. Life is just getting away from me! I'd like to say I have been busy accomplishing things, but thats not reality. I'm stressed out, a little depressed and have been caring for a vomiting and diahrea producing almost 3 year old since Friday! I have been getting horrible headaches lately, complaining about everything imaginable and completely unmotivated to do anything! For about 7 of the last 14 days I think I've remained in pajamas the entire day, the other 7 only dressing myself in order to go to work! I haven't gone grocery shopping in over 2 weeks and we are eating very creative meals as a result ( minus the aforementioned ill almost 3 yr old) . I'm tired all the time, lacking motivation and dizzy with regret. I often (recently) have felt anger towards my husband, for not being more helpful with the kids, when we are both home together. I often feel like I am a single mother yet I'm not and I don't want to be! I confronted my husband regarding these issues last night and he has been kissing my ass ever since, which is not what I'm after either! I explained to him, as I now will to all you that I become frustrated that on the days he works his 8 hours, when he comes home he expects me to make dinner, bathe the kids etc, explaining that he is so tired from his day at work, on the days I work 8 hours he expects the same! Don't get me wrong I love my family and my life, but sometimes I too need a small break granted my work is not (physically) as hard as his (and yes I am reminded of this often)....I truly love my dh despite all of this and hope you all dont think I don't; however, over these past couple weeks I have reached a breaking point, slowly sinking into a black oblivion, I feel like I'm treading water and fighting to catch my breath... I struggle to make everyone else happy and realize I really need to make myself happy first! Alright well thank you all for listening to me vent!

9 in 9 out

William is 9 months old. And this day has found me both happy and sad. I can't believe that my baby has been out in this world for the same length of time that he was inside of me!

Dear William;

9 months old already? Momma can hardly believe it! You are an amazing little boy with piercing blue eyes and a soft side for your mama. You have begun experiencing separation anxiety, and want me or dad in your site at all times! I am so happy that you love us so much, a lot of people I know wonder why, but to me it assures us of just how much you love and depend on us! I love you little tank!